UK Theatre Network

A text for tonight.  Perhaps we can’t all be Max Bygraves.  But we can try.

You’re an aspiring stand-up comedian; you’ve been coming to this evening class in a rundown FE college in Manchester every week for months; you’ve absorbed the wise words of the tutor, one-time bill-topper Eddie Waters, “The Lancashire Lad”; you’ve taken his advice about being honest, true, compassionate and working through the laughs not for the laughs; you’ve honed your act, practised at home, learned the lines: now it’s the big night when you’re performing an open spot at the local Working Men’s Club and secretly hoping to impress that agent from The Smoke, Bert Challenor, who’s in the audience supposedly just to assess your work but who might offer you a route to the big time and an escape from your miserable life. 

And then Bert gives you a tip-off: all he wants is gags. 

So do you scrap your act and try to remember as many near-the-knuckle one-liners and Christmas cracker jokes as possible in an attempt to ingratiate yourself with the man handing out the contracts?  Or do you stay loyal to your art, and Eddie?

Although Trevor Griffiths’ 1975 play is astonishingly specific in its period and locale, it couldn’t be more topical at a time when the biggest names in stand-up can sell out arenas, and Manchester is teeming with classes ranging from the improv games of Comedy Sportz to a BA (Hons) Comedy: Writing and Performance at Salford University.  And although the politically correct alternative comedians of the 1980s were supposed to have killed off the bigoted world view epitomised by Bernard Manning, not only have those frilly-shirted, bow-tied gag-merchants come back to enjoy a post-modern popularity, but the new breed of stand-ups are constantly crossing the lines of taste and decency with their “ironic” reclaiming of the offensive.

The playwright assembles a group of comic stereotypes, including a Jew and two types of Irishman, just like the set-up for a shaggy dog story, but David Thacker’s excellent actors transform them into completely rounded human beings while retaining the flavour of their archetypal origins. 

John Branwell is brilliant as Cockney wide-boy agent Bert Challenor, a salty cynic who believes in aiming for the lowest common denominator, and Richard Moore makes a fine contrast as the lugubrious and slightly tragic tutor Eddie. 

While all the comic wannabees are clearly drawn and well-detailed, Mark Letheren as Phil Murray, the born straight man, gives the most unselfish and thankless performance of the evening; for a gifted actor to take half-funny lines and kill them stone dead takes real skill as well as self-sacrifice.

Even the tiny roles are a delight: Howard Ward doubles up as the grumpy college Caretaker and virtuosic club pianist, and Simon Nagra plays lost student Mr Patel like a bemused Lou Costello.

Kieran Hill as the iconic Gethin Price is big, beautiful and just a touch camp.  When he reveals his Mohican-style shaved head and thick white greasepaint, the intended homage to Grock the clown smacks more of a character who has escaped from Taboo: The Boy George Musical.  At this point you realise that his turn isn’t comedy but performance art, and that even if he never plays Hulme Hippodrome he only has to wait for the Greenroom to open 1983 to be showered with Arts Council funding.

Helen Goddard’s design cleverly switches from a frighteningly accurate reconstruction of a down-at-heel 1970s classroom, (even the square metal dustbin is an authentic period piece) to a seedy northern club with a low-rent compère (Russell Richardson).

Seeing Comedians is like coming across the final episode of a six-part sit-com where all the characters have long been established and the grand climax has no context or emotional resonance for the casual viewer; and for a play about comedy it’s surprisingly unfunny.  However David Thacker’s enjoyable, well-paced and superbly acted production is highly recommended - for the drama, if not the laughs.

 

Comedians is on at Bolton Octagon until Saturday 8 May 2010

Tickets: from £9.00

Eves: Mon-Sat @ 7.30

Matinees: Fri 16, Sat 17, Mon 19, Sat 24 and Wed 28 Apr @ 2pm  

www.octagonbolton.co.uk

Hi-De-Hi


DARLINGTON CIVIC THEATRE

‘Hi-de-Hi’, the BAFTA award-winning television sitcom which ran for nine series’ during the 1980s, returns to the stage for the first time since its West End run in 1984. Boasting two of the original cast members from the programme – Barry Howard and Nikki Kelly – it had the potential to be a ‘camp’ evening of nostalgia. However, this new production which has been adapted by Paul Carpenter and Ian Gower, is a disjointed affair that fails to gather any real sense of momentum.

The cast, which includes ‘Are You Smarter Than Your Ten Year Old’ presenter Damian Williams as Ted Bovis and ex-‘Emmerdale’ actor Peter Amory, seem more concerned with attempting to impersonate the original characters than instilling any conviction into their performances and this soon became rather irritating, especially in the cases of Rebecca Bainbridge (Gladys Pugh) and Damian Williams (Ted Bovis). Barry Howard, reprising his role as Barry Stuart-Hargreaves, was seriously under-utilised and spent most of the performance looking as though he was wishing he was somewhere – indeed, anywhere! – else. Nikki Kelly, who played Sylvia Garnsey in the television series, stepped into the late, great Diane Holland’s dancing shoes to portray the snobby Yvonne Stuart-Hargreaves but failed to convince.

Not even the frequent bursts of the theme tune that were played to facilitate scene changes could inject any authenticity into the show and I could not understand what possessed Bruce James, the producer, to attempt to transform the show into a musical by throwing random  revue numbers in at the most inopportune moments. It also seems that the function of the adaptors, Carpenter and Gower, was nothing more than to extract the comedy from Jimmy Perry and David Croft’s original scripts.

It is also telling that Bernie Nolan – who was contracted to play Peggy Ollerenshaw – withdrew from the production before it took to the stage, and her replacement, ‘How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria’ contestant Abigail Finley, was ‘indisposed’ on press night leaving an under-rehearsed Carrie Laurence to flounder her way through performing one of the most pivotal and popular characters. Su Pollard would, for once, have been dumbstruck!

This production fails to recreate the magic of Maplins and has more in common with a typical British summer – dull and wet with hardly any brighter patches trying to break through. Dismal.

 Steve Burbridge.

The Lady Vanishes

The Tyne Theatre & Opera House

ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S classic 1938 film of lies, lost ladies and locomotives has been brought vividly to life in a new adaptation of The Lady Vanishes by Mark Simpson.

Stylishly staged, with an ingenious revolving set, designed by Maurice Rubens, that doubles as a hotel on the Swiss border and a steam locomotive, it is bursting with intrigue, espionage, romance and drama.

Stranded in a hotel after an avalanche, a cosmopolitan group of eccentric characters are desperate to return to London. They embark on a potentially perilous journey aboard a trans-alpine express train.

Having suffered a bang to the head at the hotel, Iris (Penelope Rawlins), a society beauty, is befriended by an endearing elderly governess, Miss Froy (Jane Evers). But, when the old lady mysteriously disappears and none of the other passengers acknowledge that she ever existed, Iris decides to investigate.

She manages to persuade Gilbert (Darrell Brockis), a handsome young musicologist that she is not hallucinating, despite the diagnosis of the sinister Dr Hartz (Terry Molloy), and he assists in the search for Miss Froy.

The ensuing events are a sophisticated mix of action, deceit, comedy and mystery. There are no weak links amongst the stellar cast, many of whom are required to double-up as other characters.

Mark Sterling’s direction ensures that the momentum is maintained throughout and that the audience are kept guessing right until the very end. The Lady Vanishes is a production that entertains and enthrals in equal measure.

Steve Burbridge.

I Ought to be in Pictures isn’t one of Neil Simon’s better-known plays, but it follows the scientifically proven formula of classics like The Sunshine Boys and The Odd Couple: when apparently incompatible individuals live in close proximity they generate friction, which creates sparks of comedy gold. 

Herb (Stuart Fox) is a typical Simon character in the Walter Matthau mould, a quarrelsome curmudgeon with a tender heart buried somewhere beneath his grizzly exterior.  He has long escaped the claustrophobic atmosphere of New York to live the dream in the Californian sunshine as a Hollywood screenwriter.  Unfortunately a bad case of writer’s block is causing trouble in his professional life, and commitment-phobia is hacking off his no-strings girlfriend Steffy.

Then a 19-year-old back-packer called Libby turns up on Herb’s doorstep with ambitions of her own to make it big in the film business - with or without her father’s help. 

Stuart Fox as Herb initially delivers a first-rate impression of a grumpy, self-obsessed has-been, but visibly melts with the gradual rediscovery of his paternal feelings.

Elizabeth Carling as Steffy brings real warmth to the witty and wise divorcée who tries to encourage the father-daughter relationship without herself turning into a jealous step-mother.  And no one has carried off white flared trousers with such aplomb since Charley’s Angels.

The real find of the evening is Kirsty Osmon, making a striking professional debut in the role of Libby.  All tomboyish charm and coltish bare legs, Ms Osmon is absolutely convincing as a free spirit who can hike across a continent or tune a car engine, yet who is still clearly very young and vulnerable.  The impromptu midnight rehearsal of her audition speech with only an angle-poise lamp for a spotlight shows how naïve this seemingly streetwise New Yorker remains. 

Paul Wills’ design, a loving homage to the 1970s, shows us Herb’s chaotic life embodied in his scruffy open-plan apartment, with a glimpse of the symbolic citrus trees through a sunny window.

Director Paul Jepson has concentrated on the play’s dramatic implications - in the hands of such an excellent cast the smart one-liners can take care of themselves.

 

I Ought to be in Pictures is on until Saturday 27 February 2009

Prices: £8.00-£18.00 (concessions available)

Eves: Mon-Thurs @ 7.30pm; Fri & Sat @ 8pm

Matinees: Thurs & Sat @ 3pm

Box Office: 0161 236 7110

www.librarytheatre.com

 

Dirty Dusting

The Customs House, South Shields

Until 30 January

Since it premiered in February 2003, Dirty Dusting has enjoyed sell-out runs all over the world and played to hundreds of thousands of people. Now the smash-hit comedy, penned by Ed Waugh and Trevor Wood, has made a triumphant return to the venue that launched it as part of the Customs House’s 15^th anniversary celebration season.

When Gladys, Elsie and Olive discover that they are to be unceremoniously dumped from their cleaning duties as part of a ‘rationalisation’ process in the office block where they work they decide to put their final weekend to good use and boost their pay-offs in the process. A series of ‘wrong number’ dirty phone calls inspires them to set up a phone sex line – The Telephone Belles.

Jean Southern, Gwen Doran and Helen Russell reprise their original roles and deliver their performances with an attack and gusto that belies the fact that the trio have a combined age of 250! Their comedy timing is absolutely spot-on and they don’t miss a single opportunity to shine. Bob Stott, as their bullying boss, Dave, grabs his role with both hands and relentlessly wrings the laughs from it, without ever upstaging the ladies.

Waugh and Wood’s script sparkles with wit and wonderful one-liners and you are almost afraid to laugh too long and loud at one for fear of missing the next. There are many times, though, when it is impossible not to. It is also testament to the skill of the partnership that moments of poignancy and pathos are intertwined with humour and hilarity, giving the girls some great material to work with and further endearing their characters to the audience.

Tickets for this side-splitting show aren’t lying round long enough to gather dust, so make sure you get yours before they are all cleaned out!

STEVE BURBRIDGE.

 

While proper critics have been somewhat disappointed by the play, complaining about intellectual under-nourishment and predictability, The Priory for me was just the thing to see in December and you should all go as well.
(And critics should avoid the word 'chum' - it crept into all the reviews somehow and sat there as a graying linguistic entity).



I loved the production design to begin with: from the John Lewis laps, to the reindeer trophy covered in fairy lights and those big gothic windows staring out to the godforsaken rural nowhere baring ghost. Splendid. 

The costumes were hilarious, spot on and plenty. The picture above doesn't do it justice really, it was more like the Nutcracker meets his Fatal Attraction in a drag-bar. I could linger over the semiotics of a muffin top inflicted by skinny jeans, or how a sky-blue pair of socks might be the perfect finishing touch to a character, but the snob inside me puts a stop to that.  

Onto the play than: I haven't laught so much in theatre in ages. It is just really funny and well acted. The piece was naturally not written for eternety , it is theatre-lite with a few lower notes, its fresh and entertaining and it will be so last year next year.
This carpe diem comedy unites an eclectic mix stereotypical characters: Brigit Jones gone bad and her queer sidekick, who falls short of heterosexual preconceptions, party with Mr Failure and Mrs Power Lesbian cum Mummy Biggest accompanied by dream-pair du joure.

The best reason to go and see The Priory is to attend a New-Year Party and be done with it. Buy the ticket, watch the play, breathe a sigh of relief and tick the midnight-misery with champaign and smudged make-up off your list. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lphmbIPlq9g

Jump!

Live Theatre, Newcastle upon Tyne

To market a play as being ‘played out like a Tarantino movie’ seems a tad egotistical and a rather tall order to fulfil. A quote like that should be used when it can be attributed to a rave review rather than little more than speculative wishful thinking.

That said, Live Theatre is synonymous with producing high-quality drama laced with strong local connections and I was looking forward to a tense, psychological black comedy.

Assembling a cast of extremely talented local actors, including Vicky Elliott, Laura Norton and James Baxter, the ‘English premiere’ of Jump! follows the lives of seven desperate characters during New Year’s Eve on Tyneside.

Good time girls Marie (Vicky Elliott), Dara (Laura Norton) and Hannah (Bronagh Taggart, making her professional debut) knock back the bevvies and bitch while waiting for another girl friend to arrive.

Johhny (James Baxter) and Ross (Harry Hepple) are a couple of guys who have got themselves in too deep with a local heavy and now have to carry out a contract killing to write-off a gambling debt that they cannot repay.

Two strangers, Pearce (Neil Grainger) and Greta (Frances McNamee) are both intent on leaping from Newcastle’s High Level Bridge but, after accidentally discovering each other, they proceed to try to talk one another out of it.

As the story unfolds it becomes apparent that the lives of these seven characters are already intertwined and that each of their lives are about to change forever.

Writer Lisa McGee seems to have ‘borrowed’ some of her ideas – didn’t Helena Bonham Carter and Sam Neill have a similar encounter on a bridge in Alan Ayckbourn’s 1998 movie, The Revengers’ Comedies?

The storyline has a strictly ‘thriller-by-numbers’ feel to it and the twists and turns are easy to anticipate. The script is littered with gratuitous bad language that adds nothing to the development of the narrative and the dialogue is rather clichéd.

There are also some glaringly obvious geographical gaffes that must have been the result of the decision to change the setting of the play from Belfast to Newcastle. These should have been picked up by the production team from the outset – or at the very least during the rehearsal process.

Performers of the calibre of Vicky Elliott and Laura Norton are worthy of a better vehicle to demonstrate their abilities than this. If I were to offer Miss Elliott a cautionary word of advice, it would be: ‘Watch out! Be careful that you don’t become typecast as the slightly cynical tart with a heart and the witty one-liners.’

James Baxter’s attempt to instil a degree of believability into the one-dimensional role of Johnny, combined with his stature, hairstyle and facial expressions, resulted in a performance that made him seem like Sonic the Hedgehog with a severe case of haemorrhoids.

The audience on press night, aside from theatre critics, seemed to comprise of family and friends of the writer and performers, plus a sprinkling of invited local celebrities, and there was a fair amount of over-enthusiastic, sycophantic laughter which smacked of desperation more than anything else.

When the only line in the play that I could really engage with was ‘I just want to get home and pretend tonight never even happened’, it leaves little more to say.

Steve Burbridge.

‘Jump!’ runs at Live Theatre, Newcastle until Saturday 5^th December 2009.

 

 

 

Last Of The Summer Wine: The Moonbather

Darlington Civic Theatre

Last of the Summer Wine is the longest-running sit-com in the world and a national institution in Britain. Since January 1973, the gentle programme about a trio of old men and their eccentric exploits has charmed and enthralled its viewers.

Now, for the second time, it transfers to the stage with a new play, entitled ‘The Moonbather’, written by Roy Clarke.

The roles of Compo, Clegg and Foggy – which were played on screen by Bill Owen, Peter Sallis and Brian Wilde – are recreated with aplomb by Harry Dickman, Timothy Kightley and John Pennington, respectively. The cast also includes Ruth Madoc as Meg, Tony Adams as Mr Pilbeam and Steven Pinder as Gifford Bewmont.

The story revolves around the hunt for a nocturnal streaker who, being a braver man than I, has been revealing himself to the women of Holmfirth. In a sub-plot, Foggy is also trying to win the affections of the timid Samantha (Gillian Axtell) and steal her away from the hapless Gifford Bewmont who has been stringing her along for the past fourteen years.

Although the performances of the three old codgers are carefully crafted, they are let down by the script which is contrived, smutty and predictable. It is hard to believe that it has been written by the creator and writer of the television programme. The shortcomings of the script are further compounded by some cringe-worthy impersonations of Nora Batty and Marina by Estelle Collins and of Wally Batty and Howard by the equally untalented Ian Marr.

Ruth Madoc attempts, in vain, to bring a touch of ‘star-quality’ to the proceedings in her role as the larger-than-life Meg but, in doing so, delivers a performance that is hammy at best.

In the end, the streaker is caught and his motives are not at all sexually perverted – he has a skin condition that, he believes, is alleviated by exposing his bare flesh to moonlight. Oh well, that’s alright then!

The one consolation is that the piece is fairly short, running at just under two hours. This gave me enough time to obtain a stiff drink and ponder the two mysteries that remained unsolved in Holmfirth – why do the trees grow in symmetrical mirror images of each other and why does Cleggy need a letter box on the internal door of his lounge?

Steve Burbridge.

‘Last of the Summer Wine’ runs until Saturday 14^th November 2009.

 

A classic Glaswegian play finds itself back home on this new tour, and received the welcome of an old friend in it’s Glasgow opening night audience.

 

Much of the appeal of The Steamie lies in the fantastic script by Tony Roper. As with his recent works (the wonderful Celts in Seville being of particular note) this play is observational, caustic and full of wonderful “parliamo Glasgow” terminology where the author has created well rounded characters whose appeal is not in their glamour or appearance, but their good humour and loyal natures.

 

The Steamie characters – Dolly, Magrit, Doreen and Mrs Culfeathers feel like old friends to most Scots, who have watched the televised version of this play many a Hogmanay on TV. This makes it a tough gig for any actress to take on these iconic roles, without trying to mimic the previous performances that are known so well. Leading the way on this front was Maureen Carr as Dolly. Excellent comic timing combined with an intelligent physicality brought this character believably to life, which is some feat considering the flights of fancy this character gets carried away with. Jacqueline Hughes, making her Scottish debut, was a sweet and naive Doreen, with a singing voice to match. Her lilting spoken voice worked well against the harsher tones of the older female characters, and helped create the imagery of the plans that she dreamt of, making this young actress one to watch for the future.

 

Kay Gallie, making a return to the role of Mrs Culfeathers, shows why she is in such demand in both TV and theatre. Knowing just how long to hold a comic pause for effect requires a lot of experience and Kay Gallie has that in spades. Her interpretation of the frail, hardworking older woman had the audience moved to tears, at times with sheer emotion and also with laughter. The “Top Dog” of this group is Magrit – Julie Austin got a lot of laughs here as she had a great delivery of the comic put-downs. It would have been nice if she had been asked to provide more light and shade in the role, so that the emotional sections hit home more. I think this is down to direction, as Alison Peebles seemed to be driving to make sure every laugh was “wrung-out” from this production. This did not make the comic bits seem forced, actually much the opposite, but this same interest did not seem to be shown to the sentimental or emotional moments of this clever play. David McGowan did try to make the most of the role of Andy, however his “drunk” scenes seemed to be a little too “Rab C Nesbitt” to be believable.

 

Dave Anderson’s songs still stand the test of time, again due to the classic Glasgow patter used in the lyrics – “ a swagger that wid dry a washin’” being a particular favourite of mine – but it didn’t really work to see some singing and non-singing cast trying to put these harmonies together.

 

All in all, it is great to see The Steamie back on the stage, but it does look like it maybe needs another rinse and a bit of an iron to get it back to it’s former sparkling glory. That said it is still a hugely funny and entertaining piece of theatre, and for Maureen Carr’s alone, especially during and after the “Galloway’s Mince” section, it is well worth the ticket price.

 

Listings Info:

 

Mon 2^nd – Sat 7^th November

Tue – Sat eves 7.30pm

Wed, Thurs & Sat Mat 2.30pm

Audio described performance Thu 5 Nov 7.30pm

 

Tickets: £10 - £25

 

Box Office: 0870 060 6647          www.ambassadortickets.com/glasgow

Spider’s Web

UK TOUR

Reviewed at Darlington Civic Theatre

It goes without saying that Agatha Christie is ‘Queen of the Whodunnit’ and a literary force to be reckoned with. Only the Bible is known to have outsold her collected sales of roughly four billion copies of novels. The Mousetrap is now the longest-running play in the world and it has been performed at St. Martin’s Theatre in the West End of London since 1952.

Although much of her work is laced with wit and humour, would most people associate her with farce? Probably not.

However, with her first foray into the comedy genre, she proved herself to be a versatile and skilled writer. Spider’s Web was originally written as a vehicle for Margaret Lockwood to avoid becoming typecast as a dark or menacing character.

The plot revolves around the newly-married Clarissa Hailsham-Brown, who is something of a fantasist. When she discovers a dead body in the drawing room of her country home, Cobblestone Court, her over active imagination is put to the test as she must come up with a way of getting rid of the body, thus avoiding a scandal for her husband who is a Foreign Office diplomat.

In the process she has to persuade her house-guests to help her, convince the local constabulary that no such body ever existed and catch the killer before she becomes the prime suspect.

A consummate cast, led by Melanie Gutteridge as Clarissa, deliver polished performances and suit their parts perfectly. Bruce Montague has an authentic air of authority as the aristocratic Sir Rowland Delahare, Mark Wynter bumbles and barks brilliantly as Hugo Birch, the local JP, and Catherine Shipton wholeheartedly hurls herself into the role of Mildred Peake, the gardener.

Indeed, all the production values of this piece are absolutely top-notch. Simon Scullion’s set is a visual treat that is complimented by Mark Howett’s lighting and Brigid Guy’s costumes. Director Joe Harmston has pitched the pace of the action perfectly and scene changes are executed to pieces of period music selected by sound designer Ian Horrocks-Taylor.

Spider’s Web weaves a wonderful evening of sheer enjoyment that is incredibly easy to get caught up in.

Steve Burbridge.

‘Spider’s Web’ continues at Darlington Civic Theatre until Saturday 3^rd October 2009.