UK Theatre Network

Deceptions – 6^th July 2008, Richmond Theatre

Scene 1 opens with a wall with bricked-in windows, suggesting a mental asylum.   A central pillar, almost tube-like in shape, has stark white light shining through it.  The scene is between the only two characters of the play, the therapist (Julia Smythe) and her patient ( Adrian Wainwright).  She realizes why her patient has impotency issues.  The love he holds is channelled through to his mother with whom he still lives because of her suffering from depression and the fact that she receives no attention from either her husband (an MI6 Agent) or her daughter.

They talk about his girlfriend, Anna from Balarus about how often they make love and where, and how she has dealt with his problem.

He admits to having sex with a prostitute to see if it would make a difference.  With this, Michelle Collins’s character suggests masturbation.

Collins’s heightened/RP accent is not always convincing, occasionally slipping back in to the East End accent for which we know her for best.

When Rupert Hall’s character compares his ‘chopper’ to a ‘ coffee perculator’, he displays a great surge of energy.

One theory the therapist puts forward is Wainwright may be homosexual, commenting, “every avenue must be explored.”

Then come the references to smells, old factory vocabulary, etc., which prompt him to tell her, much to her dismay, that he is a greengrocer by trade, despite having been to university and that his father has a high powered job.

More references follow.  He refers to the shape of ‘a fig’, saying licking the inside out reminds him of being with a woman, in particular, his girl friend.  He also mentions‘a banana’, his new obsession, on which he exits the scene abruptly.

Scene 2 begins with the therapist speaking into a dictaphone. A man in disguise walks into her office revealing himself to be the patient she counselled 2 months prior.  He plays back to her their last session together which he has recorded on his own machine and questions why she was so adamant in reaching a conclusion.

It is brought to our attention that he merely used the session to prove the point that patients are there to serve the therapist.  He adds that his father is, in fact, an accountant and not an MI6 Agent but that he still continues to find figs sexy!

Strong lines feature towards the end of this scene, such as:

“Why didn’t you let me go when I thought I was cured?” (patient),

“I don’t cure. I think I help…” (therapist)

and:  “lying is easier than telling the truth.” (patient),

 “I can use my imagination without lying.” (therapist)

The alarm clock sounds and the therapist becomes aware that she has been the one to complete the session, and not the patient!

Scene 3 is set on the street.  A telephone call is taking place held between the therapist and Charles : “you called to see if there might be a fuck on for tonight!”. This leads us, the audience, to believe that she has been having an affair with a married man.  Their conversation is interrupted with an incoming call.

Therapist: “how did you get my number?!”, obviously talking to someone related to the patient.

In Scene 4 half of the central pillar on the stage has been turned into a brick wall to give the impression of the patient’s apartment.

The therapist reads out his suicide note to her bed-ridden patient whose neighbour, Carlos, apparently found him and saw her name mentioned in it.

She is deeply affected to think that she may have played a part in his attempted suicide after their 2^nd session.   She had beaten him then at his own game and managed to be the one to bring the session to a close, expressing how violated she had been made to feel, almost like being raped.

He believes Morrissey saved his life after Carlos knocked down his door when the cd became stuck.

 The patient offers to make her a cup of coffee, he steps out of bed, quite forgetting he has no clothes on, and quickly apologises.

Patient says, “All great humour is rooted in cruelty”, appearing to quote from the film Baby Jane.  Then, the therapist finds a quotation from a films’ book stashed underneath the mattress, proving he is not really a film buff.

Patient says: “you’re very anal, aren’t you?”, observing how therapist washes her coffee cup out. She responds: “don’t use words you don’t understand!”

Act I closes with the therapist confidently walking out of the flat saying: “ you failed, you didn’t die!”. His attempt to take his life was also an attempt to jeopardise her career.

Once she is out of sight, he reaches for his mobile and we hear him speaking to whom must only be Carlos saying: “it worked like a dream”.  He seems content with how his plan is panning out.

Act II takes place in a much neater apartment with the therapist storming in.

Patient enquires: “Is the meter running on this session?!”

Therapist responds: “I want to know if you’re who you say you are..

..your mother doesn’t get a mention in your suicide note.”

We are reminded of the therapist promising to cure him the last time she saw him whilst leaving him screaming on the floor.

Since then she has found out from Carlos that it was all a ploy after threatening him with The Immigration Services.

The patient is forced to come clean and reveal he is seeking to get his book published, concerning a relationship between a therapist and her patient. He continues to speak about his book and the climactic point which he feels she could help him with.  This leads to them trying out a role play.  In this they reverse roles.

He starts to question her, ‘what would she see herself doing if money were no object?’

Response: ‘university, friends.’

She appears to be disillusioned with the present.

Follow-up question: “do you have a history with your parents?”

Conclusion: that she gave up on her friends so as not to be exposed to family life from which she is trying to escape.

In Scene 2 obvious affection is shown between the two characters to tell us they have become ‘an item’.  This seems to have developed rather quickly, although some time may have passed between them.

“.. I process people, then hand them a crutch”, remarks the therapist on her particular line of work.

The therapist reveals she was brought up as a Catholic when she brings fish round to cook.

She comments:“men are hopeless when it comes to writing Romance..

..with a novel, you have to dress it up a bit” (it seems the therapist is quite  willing to lie in such circumstances.)

“since I’ve stopped lying, you’ve started!” (patient’s response)

He wishes  his novel to reflect real life by not dressing it up.  He explains how character Sophie is proposed to and accepts .  Now he asks his now ex-therapist the same question.  She is hesitant to accept as she is  20 years his senior.

He goes on to reveal that his mother genuinely suffers from bouts of depression and that Anna, his girlfriend, was in fact Russian but that his father, convinced she was a spy, had her deported.

She exchanges information, telling him that her affair with the married man had lasted ten years and how possessive she is when it comes to sex. They decide to put this to the test by playing ‘Therapy Game!’

Michelle Collins tended to slip up on her lines throughout the play but she covers herself well. It could be seen to show the more uptight side of her character.

In Scene 3 they have wed.  More revelations follow as he admits to her that both him and his sister were adopted, how they have the same father but that their two mothers were surrogates.

“Your father is Charles Barton?!” (Julia, therapist, when it dawns on her that he is the married man she has been having an affair with for all these years.)

“I was selected (as the surrogate), like a prized heffer! The only reason you and I met was for you to find Emma’s mother.” (Julia)

Adrian (the ex-patient) replies: “I came to see you as one of my father’s victims.”

She goes to leave, then returns saying: “I think there’s something I must do for the very first time, take a chance.”

She suggests making a real go at their marriage and for her to give his father a call to rub his nose in it.

Powerful lines bring the play to a close.

Adrian: “where did you learn to be so cruel?!”

Julia: “time has come to minimise hatred.”

What stole the show for me though was a cleverly thought out script by writer Paul Wheeler.  Deceptions is his first stage play and he has written extensively for the television, as well as for several feature films.